ADHD has been at the core of who I am for as long as I can remember – for better or worse, depending on how you look at it.
As a kid, I remember pretending to take my meds because I didn’t like how they made me feel. I cycled through every ADHD medication out there and hated them all. But the real issue wasn’t the meds – it was that no one ever taught me how I operate.
I didn’t struggle much with hyperactivity. I was originally diagnosed with ADD, back when that was still considered separate from ADHD. That distinction doesn’t exist anymore – they’ve all been rolled into one.
You’ve probably heard someone say they don’t want to “label” their kid too early. There’s some truth to that. I was labeled young, and yes, I think it held me back – but not because of the label itself. The problem was that no one helped me understand it. Not school. Not the system. Not even the doctors.
Now, in their defense, I don’t think people really understood the disorder back in the 90’s. I’m not sure they do now.
Anne-Laure Le Cunff wrote two great pieces on ADHD recently, that I recommend checking out.
“Rather than a fixed medical condition you either have or don’t, ADHD might be better understood as an umbrella term for a spectrum of traits that appear together more often than by chance, and that seem to share common roots in brain development, genetics, and our environment.”
Anne-Laure Le Cunff
I still remember the night all my friends went off to college. I had a 1.9 GPA and would be commuting to Kent. I sat in my room, full of regret, and cried. Then I made a promise to myself: I would graduate. And I did.
I delivered pizzas at Donatos during the week, studied in my downtime, and visited friends on weekends. Ironically, I ended up with the best of both worlds – freedom, income, and eventually, the college experience I thought I was missing when my friends transferred to Kent, too.
Somewhere in there, I learned how to study. And I liked it. I made the Dean’s List. I changed my major from Hospitality to Business Management. I stumbled into sales, a profession littered with people with ADHD.
About 30% of sales professionals are said to have ADHD, significantly higher than the ~4.4% prevalence in the general adult population.
And maybe that’s the point. Finding your place and people.
So, labeling a child isn’t inherently bad. But it is a responsibility. It’s a contract. A promise to help them understand who they are and how to navigate it.
Now, as an adult, I still wrestle with it. ADHD shows up daily. And that’s where my personal mantra comes in:
Present. Patient. Proactive.
Most of life’s challenges – at least the champagne ones – can be approached through one of those lenses. And for me, it’s EVERYTHING. My brain doesn’t stop and it’s rarely moving in the direction I intended it to go.
But presence is the gateway. When I’m not present, I spiral, I get frustrated, sometimes I yell. And only when I’m truly present can I choose patience or take proactive action.
For me, presence isn’t just a productivity tactic – it’s a survival skill.
So how do I deploy Present, Patient, Proactive? Here are a few simple examples…
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Present: Breathing exercises like Huberman’s Double Inhale Physiological Sigh Protocol or Box Breathing. Sometimes it’s as simple as putting my phone down and sitting on the floor with the kids.
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Patient: Cannot happen without being present.
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Proactive: I use an app called TickTick to plan my day. It’s my second brain and everything lives there. If I want to do something, it goes into TickTick. Workouts, work to-do list, my ‘Honey, I’ll Do’ list, etc. I’ll write more about it, the honey list, and others in the future.
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Focus: While this isn’t part of the mantra, it’s important for someone with ADHD. If I want to focus, I need my environment to be optimal for deep work. That means I’m listening to a movie score or instrumental on repeat for hours and I have a cup of coffee next to be. Bonus points for being at a coffee shop.
If you’re raising, coaching, leading, or being someone wired like this, don’t underestimate the power of understanding how they’re wired.
It’s not about fixing – it’s about unlocking.